BY PASTOR T. O. BANSO
The New Testament was originally written in the Greek language. Four primary Greek words are commonly used for love. The first is eros, which refers to romantic or sexual love, from which the word romantic is derived. The second is storge, which refers to familial love. Eros is not used in the New Testament, whereas storge only appears in a compound derivative, philostorgos, in Romans 12:10.
The two primary words used for love in the New Testament are philiā (verb: phileō) and agapē (verb: agapaō). Philiā refers to friendship or brotherly love, while agapē refers to unconditional or sacrificial love. Every mention of love in the New Testament refers to either philiā or agapē, but the most common is agapē.
Agapē love and Philiā love
Some Bible scholars believe that agapē and philiā are used interchangeably in the book of John, and therefore can be regarded as synonyms. According to them, usage depends on the context. These scholars argue that God is depicted as loving with both agapē (John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 9:7) and philiā (John 5:20; 16:27).
Furthermore, the Bible uses ēgapa (a past tense form of agapaō) in John 13:23 and 21:7, and ephilei (a past tense form of phileō) in John 20:2, to refer to Jesus’ love for one disciple. In other words, God and Jesus are depicted as loving with both types of love. Thus, according to some scholars, agapaō and phileō are used as synonyms.
In John 21:15-17, Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. For the first two questions, the Greek verb Jesus used for love was agapās (from agapaō), which often denotes a sacrificial love. The third time, Jesus switched to the Greek verb phileis (from phileō), which is associated with affectionate or brotherly love, asking Peter if he loved Him. However, Peter replied to Jesus three times that he loved Him, consistently using the word “philō.”
Some scholars use this to argue that in John 21, the two words are synonyms used interchangeably. However, others argue that they have distinct meanings, submitting that agapē is a higher, sacrificial love, while philiā is affectionate love. They, therefore, conclude that by switching from agapaō to phileō, Jesus met Peter at his level of love.
While agapē is often defined as God’s kind of love, it is not limited to God. Human beings can emulate agapē love when they have a living relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. In other words, they can love others with agapē love by abiding in Him (John 15:9-12), as seen in Matthew 5:44-46: “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?” (NKJV). This passage refers to agapē love, which Jesus commands His followers to practise. Luke 6:27-32 records Jesus’ command to practise agapē love.
In John 3:35a and John 5:20a, the Bible uses both agapaō and phileō to say the same thing: the Father loves the Son. The Bible uses agapaō in John 3:35a and phileō in John 5:20a. These scriptures show that both “agapaō” and “phileō” are associated with God’s love. This is why some scholars say that agapē is not exclusively a special kind of God’s love. In 2 Timothy 4:10a, Paul says, “Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world” (NKJV). The Greek word translated as “having loved” in this verse is agapēsas, a form of the Greek verb agapaō, used in a negative sense. It is also used negatively in Luke 11:43, where Jesus told the Pharisees, “You love the most important seats in the synagogues and respectful greetings in the marketplaces” (NIV). The Greek word translated as “you love” is agapate, from agapaō. These negative examples establish that agapaō is not limited to selfless, unconditional, or divine love but can also refer to selfish or worldly affection.
This message focuses on agapē love in its positive sense. Agapē is not dependent on one being loved, but on one’s commitment (will) to love others. This is how God loves us. You need to know what agapē is to walk in it. 1 Corinthians 13 defines this type of love. The first three verses state that love matters more than anything else and that anything done without it is useless. Therefore, all things must be done out of love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-10 further outlines sixteen characteristics of agapē love.
Reasons a child of God must practise agapē love
1. God is agapē, and He loves humans with agape love. This means God is love, and He loves you. 1 John 4:19 says, “We love because he first loved us” (NIV). The phrase “we love” is agapōmen, in Greek, while “loved” is “ēgapēsen”, a past tense form of agapaō. Our love is a response to His love.
1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (NIV). Note the phrase “God is love.” The Greek word translated as love in this verse is agapē. God is love; God is agapē. As that scripture says, anyone who doesn’t love doesn’t know God. Regardless of what people claim or what their titles are, it is practising agapē love that shows they know God.
Love is more important than all other things. Therefore, God’s children must possess and practise agapē love, which is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love that comes from God. 1 John 4:16 also states that God is love (agapē): “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (NIV). This means you cannot walk with God and not walk in love.
2. It is a command. Agapē love is a command, not a suggestion. Jesus described this as the greatest commandment. In Matthew 22:37-38, Jesus commands His followers to love (agapaō) God and their neighbours, calling this the greatest commandment. “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38 NIV).
Agapē love is Jesus’ command, not His suggestion. He commands His followers to love one another. In other words, they must relate to one another with selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34 NIV).
This is a new commandment because His followers are to love each other as He has loved them. This standard goes higher than merely loving your neighbour as yourself; it is loving others just as Jesus loved you. How did Jesus love us? By loving us and laying down His life. He says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13 NIV). Christ demonstrated agapē love on the cross of Calvary.
3. It is the highest form of love. Agapē love is superior to philiā, eros, and storge. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 lists the characteristics of agapē thus: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away” (NIV). Whereas all other forms of love are good and serve their purposes, agapē love is the highest. It is the love of the will, not of the emotions. It is not based on feelings or sentiments. It is intentional.
4. It is the greatest virtue. In 1 Corinthians 13:13, Paul says faith, hope, and love will remain forever, but the greatest of these is love (agapē). Agapē love is supreme. Earlier in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, Paul says, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing” (NIV).
5. It is the evidence of knowing God. 1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (NIV). The Greek translation of this verse shows that the love referred to is agapē Agapē love is evidence of knowing God. The Greek word translated as “knows” in the scripture is ginṓskō, which means: properly, to know, especially through personal experience. The word “ginṓskō” is also used for sexual intimacy as in Luke 1:34, “Then Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I do not know a man?’” (NKJV). Practising agapē love proves that you know God. Those who don’t practise selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love don’t know God.
6. Practising agapē love shows one reflects the character of God. Agapē is God’s very nature. God demonstrated agapē love by sacrificially giving Jesus to die for the world. “For God so loved [ēgapēsen] the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV). The Greek word “ēgapēsen”, translated as loved, is a past tense form of agapaō.
Matthew 5:44-48 also points out the unconditional love of God and the need to emulate Him: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (NIV).
7. It is a mark of being a disciple of Christ and possessing God’s character. According to Jesus Christ, one significant mark of being His disciple is love. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35 NIV). The love Jesus refers to in this scripture is agapē. Anyone who calls himself a disciple of Christ must walk in agapē It is a misnomer to be a disciple of Christ and not walk in love. 1 John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love [agapē] is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (NIV). This is sacrificial, unconditional love.
Christ’s disciples must practise agapē love, which is the character of God. God is love and relates to human beings in love. Those who are truly His children must possess His character, which the Bible refers to as the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). The first in the list is love. Love is the defining attribute of God; all other qualities listed are subordinate to love. God is love, and one who walks in love possesses His attribute. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV). If you’re truly God’s child, you will walk in love like Him. Every child of God must practise agapē love as a mark of being a disciple of Christ and possessing God’s character.
Conclusion: Indeed, God created other forms of love, including eros, philiā, and storge. However, the word used most often to convey God’s character is agapē. While philiā is used in a few instances, most scriptures use agapē to describe God’s love. As a child of God, cultivate this highest form of love, loving unconditionally, selflessly, and sacrificially.
TAKE ACTION!
If you are not born again, you must give your heart to Jesus now. Please take the following steps: *Admit that you are a sinner and you cannot save yourself, and repent of your sins. *Confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. *Renounce your past way of life – your relationship with the devil and his works. *Invite Jesus into your heart. *As a mark of seriousness to mature in the faith, start attending a Bible-believing, Bible-teaching, and Bible-practising church. There, they will teach you how to grow in the Kingdom of God.
Kindly say this prayer now: O Lord God, I come unto You today. I know I am a sinner, and I cannot save myself. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save me, and God raised Him on the third day. I repent of my sins and confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I invite Jesus into my heart. By this prayer, I know I am saved. Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God.
I believe you have said this prayer from your heart. Congratulations! You must join a Bible-believing, Bible-teaching, and Bible-practising church where they will teach you how to live your new life in Christ Jesus. I pray that you flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar of Lebanon. May you grow into Christ in all things and become all God wants you to be. I will be glad to hear from you. The Lord be with you.
T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
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