WISDOM FOR LIVING DAILY DEVOTIONAL
JUNE 02, 2024
TOPIC: STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM
BY T. O. BANSO
“When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ The sick man answered Him, ‘Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me’” (John 5:6-7 New King James Version).
Playing the victim or victim-playing is pretending to be a victim to gain sympathy or attention, or manipulate and control others. Playing the victim means seeing oneself as a victim of circumstances and blaming other people or situations instead of taking responsibility.
You may have suffered abuse or rejection, lost your business, money, marriage, etc., or suffered some setbacks in life, which makes you a victim. Everyone is a victim one way or the other. However, we must not because we are victims develop a victim mentality, which is “the belief that one is always a victim: the idea that bad things will always happen to one” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Victim mentality is also “when a person views themselves as a victim in various situations, even when there is evidence otherwise” (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com › articles › victim). Those with a victim mentality have the mindset that the whole world is against them. They often feel powerless or helpless, frequently making the excuse that situations are beyond their control.
Don’t play the victim. Take responsibility for your actions. Face what you need to do to change the present situation in your life and stop seeking sympathy or attention; stop using your condition to take advantage of others. Get rid of the “poor me” mentality.
Adam blamed God and Eve for disobeying God and eating the forbidden fruit. Eve blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:8-13). Neither of them admitted their sin. Their response to God was that it was not their fault that they disobeyed God; it was the fault of somebody else! That didn’t help their matter. Nevertheless, they were ejected from the Garden of Eden.
They should have admitted that they disobeyed God. Nobody can deceive you without your permission. Yes, something happened to you in the past. But have you identified the wrong part you played instead of blaming everybody except yourself? Stop pretending to be an innocent victim. Playing the victim card will never help anyone.
The lame by the Pool of Bethesda played the victim when Jesus asked him a simple question: Do you want to be healed? Jesus never asked anything about the other people in his life. This man, who had been sick for 38 years, said he had no man to put him into the pool to be healed.
John 5:6-7 says, “When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ The sick man answered Him, ‘Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me’” (John 5:6-7 New King James Version).
Probably he had been bitter that no family member or friend was keeping vigil with him by the pool to put him into it whenever it was stirred. (That aspect of the pool healing the sick is omitted in some Bible translations or it’s bracketed because it is believed not to be in the original manuscript).
Jesus’ focus was not on the pool but on the man, yet the man was playing the victim, blaming others. He was so focused on a man to facilitate his healing that when the Healer (Jesus) came, he didn’t see Him! If not that mercy was at work, he would have died in that pitiable condition. But Jesus healed him. The story is in John 5:1-15.
In Mark 10:46-52, Bartimaeus the blind never played the victim. When he heard that Jesus was passing the highway where he was begging for alms, he was determined to receive his healing. He kept shouting, “Son of David have mercy on me!” Even when the crowd shouted him down, he shouted louder.
Because he persisted, Jesus sent for him and asked him what he wanted Him to do for him. Bartimaeus went straight to the point. He didn’t blame his parents, some witches, or the government for his blindness! He told Jesus he wanted his sight back. Jesus healed him.
Playing the victim will make you bitter and envious of others; it will stagnate your life. It will separate you from quality relationships, because of your negative communication and disposition. Those who play the victim talk in a way that puts purposeful people away. They keep repeating the same negative stories they’ve told before to seek attention, gain sympathy, manipulate, control, or justify their abuse of others.
Everything worked against Zacchaeus! The Bible tells us his story in Luke 19:1-9. He was a short man and he had a bad job – the Jews did not respect tax collectors; they saw them as thieves and traitors because they were working for the Roman authorities. The huge crowd around Jesus was also a great barrier. But Zacchaeus was determined to see Jesus. He didn’t play the victim, blaming his parents and God for his height, blaming the crowd, or blaming the Roman government for his job as a chief tax collector.
Zacchaeus did something about the situation he was facing. He didn’t resign to fate. He climbed the sycamore tree to cast a glimpse of Jesus. Significantly, he was the only one Jesus saw. He was saved and Jesus was a guest in his home that day.
It doesn’t matter what people did to you that brought you to where you are. You may be partly responsible for it or not. Stop blaming your family, former spouse or employer, the government, etc. Take responsibility for your actions. Forgive others and forgive yourself.
Despite your present condition, God has not changed His plan and purpose for your life. Cooperate with Him to realize the good thoughts He has for you and bring you to the expected end He has designed for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Avoid self-pity, blame game, grudges, comparison, etc. associated with victim-playing.
The prodigal son would have died of hunger if he had played the victim. His story is told in Luke 15:11-32. He could have blamed everybody else but himself. The Bible does not say that he blamed his father for granting his request for his share of the inheritance due to him. It is not recorded that he blamed those who assisted him in wasting his money. Neither does the Bible say that he blamed God for the famine. But he came to his senses and returned home. Stop victimizing yourself, playing the victim.
Some prostitutes, kidnappers, bandits, drug addicts, armed robbers, fraudsters, etc. continue in their sinful and destructive pursuits, playing the victim. They blame the family, the government, society, the economy, or some negative experiences they had in the past for the way they’re living. They blame others to attract sympathy, manipulate and control others, or justify their abuse of others or evil or criminal actions.
Stop blaming others for what you may be partly responsible for. Even if you are not, pointing fingers won’t help you. Jephthah was not responsible for being born to a mother who was a prostitute. But he didn’t commit suicide because his stepbrothers rejected him. Instead, he departed from home to go and develop his potential. The elders of his tribe came later to beg him to lead them to war (Judges 11).
After defeating the Ammonites, the Ephraimites threatened to burn down his house with him for not calling them to help him in the war. He told them that he summoned them but they refused to come and he put his life in his hands (Judges 12:1-2). Jephthah didn’t play the victim. He did what he had to do.
We live in a broken and imperfect world. Therefore, both positive and negative things happen. Stop playing the victim. If you’re guilty of this repent and be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). You have only one life to live. Don’t waste it. It is appointed for men once to die, but after this the judgment (Hebrews 9:27). You will give an account of yourself to God (Romans 14:12). Stop playing the victim. Take responsibility for your actions.
TAKE ACTION!
If you are not born again, you need to give your life to Jesus now. I urge you to take the following steps: *Admit that you are a sinner, and cannot save yourself, and repent of your sins. *Confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. *Renounce your past way of life – your relationship with the devil and his works. *Invite Jesus into your life. *As a mark of seriousness to mature in the faith, start attending a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. There they will teach you how to grow in the Kingdom of God.
Kindly say this prayer now: O Lord God, I come unto You today. I know I am a sinner, and I cannot save myself. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save me and God raised Him on the third day. I repent of my sins and confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I surrender my life to Jesus now and invite Him into my heart. By this prayer, I know I am saved. Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God.
I believe you have said this prayer from your heart. Congratulations! You must join a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church where they will teach you how to live your new life in Christ Jesus. I pray that you flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar of Lebanon. May you grow into Christ in all things and become all God wants you to be. I will be glad to hear from you. The Lord be with you.
PRAYER POINTS: Father, I repent of playing the victim. I will no longer play the victim to manipulate others or to seek sympathy or attention. I will take responsibility for my actions. I will obey Your Word and do all You expect of me.
(For over 900 in-depth and powerful messages by T.O. Banso, visit www.cedarministry.org).
T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
Phone No: +2348155744752, +2348033113523
WhatsApp No: +2349081295947
Email: cedarministryintl@yahoo.com,
cedarministryng@gmail.com
Website: www.cedarministry.org
