APRIL 29, 2024



Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment, and cause it to give off a foul odor; so does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor”

Proverbs 24:3-4 says through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. You need wisdom to build any enterprise, including marriage. You need wisdom in marriage, not folly.

Some people have ruined their marriages just by a little folly. “Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment, and cause it to give off a foul odor; so does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor” (Ecclesiastes 10:1 New King James Version). Note the phrase “a little folly.” The New Living Translation puts the scripture this way: “As dead flies cause even a bottle of perfume to stink, so a little foolishness spoils great wisdom and honor.”

Couples do different foolish things that destroy their marriages. I call this marital folly! A little folly can destroy a marriage. For example, a woman denying her husband sex habitually is a little folly because she is asking the husband to look for alternatives, which is not right. Such a woman must know that some unmarried ladies may be fantasizing about going to bed with her husband. Some unmarried ladies, due to the frustration of a long wait for husbands, may be desperate for married men who will sleep with them just to have children, even if they won’t marry them.

If you won’t allow your husband to touch you, many ladies are ready to give their bodies to your husband. Why should a wife engage in such a little folly and ruin her home? Such a woman could be crying later, going from one prayer programme to the other, and engaging in marathon fasting and prayer. That would be medicine after death! Engaging in extra-marital relationships because of a wife’s behaviour is wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right. A husband who engages in extra-marital sex is a fool. But such folly by either husband or wife and equally foolish reaction by either of them happen.

A little folly! Husband, what are you doing in the house of Delilah, no matter the challenge you’re facing in your marriage? Your wife’s little folly is no justification for your folly! You cannot go in to Delilah and return the same. Delilah will dispossess you of your power and frustrate your destiny.The woman Folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing. She sits at the door of her house; she takes a seat on the highest places of the town, calling to those who pass by, who are going straight on their way,Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!’ And to him who lacks sense she says, ‘Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.’ But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol” (Proverbs 9:13-18 English Standard Version).

Note the lie of the woman Folly: “Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” It is folly to believe that. The Good News Translation renders the phrase this way: “Stolen water is sweeter. Stolen bread tastes better.” “Stolen water” and “stolen bread” refer to adultery. Proverbs 5:15 says,Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well” (New International Version). As the Contemporary English Version puts it “You should be faithful to your wife, just as you take water from your own well.”

An extramarital relationship is folly. It is folly to go outside your marriage to satisfy your sexual desire. Proverbs 6:26-29 says,For a prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life. Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished” (New Living Translation). Even if the lady or man is not yet married, it is still folly and a sin for you to engage in extramarital affairs.

I was told of a husband who was starved of sex by his wife. He went to engage in an extramarital affair and impregnated a lady, and the wife, in revenge, went to get pregnant for another man. Folly competition! Foolish revenge! Neither of them has a home today.

You need to give priority to sex in your marriage and stop giving all manners of excuses. That’s a little folly that will ruin your marriage. It’s a problem in some Christian homes. The people sex is meant for (married people), don’t have time for it; but the people forbidden to have sex (unmarried people), have plenty of time for it, and are obsessed with it!

Paul advises couples in 1 Corinthians 7:4-5, “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (New Living Translation).

Avoid marital folly. Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Verse 28 says husbands ought to love their wives as their bodies and he who loves his wife loves himself. Husbands should love their wives, not other people’s wives! This is further emphasized in verse 33: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (New King James Version). Also, Colossians  3:19 says husbands should love their wives and not be bitter toward them. It is folly to do otherwise. Love your wife, not other women.

Marital unfaithfulness is folly; it destroys. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19 English Standard Version). Note the phrase “be intoxicated always in her love.” Be drunk with love for your wife. The Amplified Bible explains “fountain” in that passage as “wife”: Let your fountain (wife) be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity].”

1 Peter 3:7 says, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (New King James Version).

Disobeying the Word of God about marriage is folly. Wives must also avoid marital folly. Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to submit to their husbands, as to the Lord. Note the phrase “as to the Lord.” It means “as they do to the Lord” (Complete Jewish Bible) or as you do to the Lord” (New Century Version). Verse 24 goes further to say that as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Submission in everything does not include submission to domestic violence that will endanger the wives’ lives.

Colossians 3:18 says wives should submit to their husbands, as is fitting, proper, or appropriate in the Lord. Furthermore, 1 Peter 3:1 says, Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (New International Version). Not obeying these scriptures is not wisdom but folly.

Beware of anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, revenge, lack of appreciation, lack of communication or bad communication, etc. in your marriage. These foolish things destroy marriages.

I was told of a woman who had a misunderstanding with her husband, got angry, and packed out of the house despite all pleas. She was still trusting God for the fruit of the womb then. But before she knew it, the husband impregnated another woman who moved in as his wife. That was not right, but it happened. She, probably, took it for granted that because her husband was a Christian and they wedded in the church, her position in the home was secure. But she couldn’t return to her matrimonial home and never had another husband. A little folly!

Be faithful to your spouse. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Some men and women regret today their past actions or bad decisions in their marriages. They are living with the consequences. Proverbs 14:1 says,The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” (New King James Version). Woman, be wise; don’t pull down your house or marriage with your hands. Avoid doing foolish things.

Couples, be wise! Don’t do foolish things that will ruin your home. Build your home; don’t destroy it.


If you are not born again, you need to give your life to Jesus now. I urge you to take the following steps: *Admit that you are a sinner and cannot save yourself and repent of your sins. *Confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. *Renounce your past way of life – your relationship with the devil and his works. *Invite Jesus into your life. *As a mark of seriousness to mature in the faith, start attending a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. There they will teach you how to grow in the Kingdom of God.

Kindly say this prayer now: O Lord God, I come unto You today. I know I am a sinner and I cannot save myself.  I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save me and God raised Him on the third day. I repent of my sins and confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I surrender my life to Jesus now and invite Him into my heart. By this prayer, I know I am saved. Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God.

I believe you have said this prayer from your heart. Congratulations! You will need to join a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church in your area where they will teach you how to live your new life in Christ Jesus. I pray that you flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar of Lebanon. May you grow into Christ in all things and become all God wants you to be. I will be glad to hear from you. The Lord be with you.

PRAYER POINTS: Holy Spirit, help me to obey the Word of God in my marriage. I shall not engage in marital folly. I shall not do foolish things that will destroy my home in Jesus’ name.

(For over 900 in-depth and powerful messages by T. O. Banso, visit

T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
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