JANUARY 30, 2023



Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” (Ephesians 4:2 New Living Translation)

In human relationships, offending one another is inevitable. You may wrong or hurt others and vice versa, as nobody is perfect. This is why we must make allowance for the faults of others, especially those we frequently interact with. If you cherish a relationship, you must make allowance for the faults of those you relate to because they will offend you even when they don’t mean to.

Those who don’t expect that others will offend them have misplaced hope and such often leads to disappointment, which makes them hold grudges against them. In other words, they harbour anger, bitterness, or resentment long after someone has hurt their feelings. But if from the beginning, they acknowledge that it is impossible for people not to offend them, and have made allowance for this, they will not feel so hurt that they will be filled with bitterness towards others.

Ephesians 4:2 says, Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” (New Living Translation). Note the phrase “making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” The Apostle Paul says to make allowance for each other’s faults. That means you should do so in your relationships with others and others in their relationships with you. If everybody does this, most relational problems will not linger.

The last part of that scripture says “because of your love.” This means that without love it won’t be possible to make allowance for the faults of others. Why? Because love is not easily angered and does not keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5b). 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (New International Version). According to Proverbs 10:12, hatred stirs up strife but love covers all sins or wrongs.

Spouses will offend each other. They must expect this. That does not mean they should intentionally offend each other. But because spouses are two imperfect people who frequently interact, they will offend each other. It’s now left for them if they will bear grudges and keep a record of wrongs. The same applies to other family members, friends, colleagues at work, and so on. We all must make allowances for each other’s faults.

Colossians 3:13 says, Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (New Living Translation). Did you see again the instruction to make allowance for each other’s fault? The New King James Version refers to this as “bearing with one another.” This goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness. If you are going to make allowance for other people’s faults, you must be ready to forgive them. Those who bear grudges don’t bear with others! Those who hold grudges don’t forgive.

How can you call yourself a Christian and hold grudges against others, sometimes with people you live with, no matter how they have wronged you? How do you feel comfortable holding grudges for a long time and still being able to pray and read your Bible? There is no biblical justification for holding grudges.

Holding grudges is a sin, and you must repent of it. The Living Bible renders Colossians 3:13 thus: “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Pay attention to the phrase “never hold grudges.” There is no justification for grudges. Grudges affect your spirit, soul, and body. Indeed, studies have shown that grudges harm your physical, mental, and emotional health. It increases your chances of heart disease, chronic pain, stomach ulcers, headaches, increased stress, lowered immunity, cognitive decline, high blood pressure, strokes, anxiety, depression, and abusive behaviour.

Holding grudges will destroy your marriage or home. It will destroy your other relationships. Parents who hold grudges show their children and other family members a bad example, which influences them negatively, particularly in relating to others. Some people think they are settling scores with others by holding grudges against them but suffer the consequences more. It is wise to make allowance for others’ faults.

Offences and anger are inevitable in relationships but you must exercise self-control in expressing your anger and not hold on to offences or seek revenge.My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20  New International Version). Be patient and exercise self-control, which are parts of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (New International Version). Earlier in Psalm 4:4, David said a similar thing: Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (New King James Version). Also, David said in Psalm 37:8, “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret-it only causes harm” (New King James Version).

The solution to holding grudges against others is to make allowance for their faults because of your love, as the New Living Translation renders Ephesians 4:2. Don’t keep a record of wrongs. Proverbs 19:11 says,Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment]” (Amplified Bible). Note the phrase “overlook a transgression or an offense.” In other words, forgive.

Jesus taught us to forgive others (Mark 11:25; Matthew 6:14; Luke 17:3; 6:37). Forgiveness is not always easy but we must obey the Word of God. We must forgive others because God has forgiven us our sins and still forgives us. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 New King James Version). We will always need forgiveness from God and others. As Jesus said, if we don’t forgive others, our Father will also not forgive our trespasses (Matthew 6:15; 18:35; Mark 11:26).

From Jesus, we learn that there is no end to the number of times to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22; Luke 17:3-4). Forgive, no matter how painful the hurt. It doesn’t mean you won’t still remember it. Forgiveness is a must but reconciliation depends on the offender and how important the relationship is to you. Make allowance for others’ faults. Forgive from your heart, as Jesus said in Matthew 18:35.


If you are not born again, you need to give your life to Jesus now. I urge you to take the following steps: *Admit that you are a sinner and you cannot save yourself and repent of your sins. *Confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. *Renounce your past way of life – your relationship with the devil and his works. *Invite Jesus into your life. *As a mark of seriousness to mature in the faith, start attending a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. There they will teach you how to grow in the Kingdom of God.

Kindly say this prayer now: O Lord God, I come unto You today. I know I am a sinner and I cannot save myself.  I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save me and God raised Him on the third day. I repent of my sins and confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I surrender my life to Jesus now and invite Him into my heart. By this prayer, I know I am saved. Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God.

I believe you have said this prayer from your heart. Congratulations! You will need to join a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church in your area where they will teach you how to live your new life in Christ Jesus. I pray that you flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar of Lebanon. May you grow into Christ in all things and become all God wants you to be. I will be glad to hear from you. The Lord be with you.

PRAYER POINTS: Father, forgive me for not making allowance for others’ faults and not forgiving them. I repent of all grudges I hold against others. Holy Spirit, I receive Your help to make allowance for the faults of others and not make a record of sin but forgive them from my heart. Help me to make reconciliations where necessary.

(For over 900 in-depth and powerful messages by T. O. Banso, visit

T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
Phone No: +2348155744752, +2348033113523
WhatsApp No: +2349081295947