WISDOM FOR LIVING DAILY DEVOTIONAL
DECEMBER 11, 2024
TOPIC: LEARNING FROM CRITICISM
BY T. O. BANSO
“If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored” (Proverbs 13:18 New Living Translation).
Criticism is “the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing” (Britannica). Human beings like praise, not criticism, even when they’ve not done what is praiseworthy!
Often, we look at the negative side of criticism and we’re quick to defend ourselves by citing scriptures that warn against judging others (Matthew 7:1-5; Luke 6:37-42; Romans 14:4; James 4:11-12). But people often quote these scriptures out of context to silence critics.
While a critical spirit and a hypocritical, self-righteous, and judgmental attitude are bad, which is what the Bible discourages, we can benefit from criticisms even if badly made! We can sometimes look beyond the messenger and take the message. We can overlook the language and method and consider the substance if there is any.
Proverbs 15:31-32 says, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding” (New Living Translation). We should develop the right attitude to constructive and destructive criticisms! Why? – Criticisms can improve us if we respond to them appropriately; the reverse is also true.
Right ways to handle criticisms
1. Listen to criticisms. First, listen to criticisms. Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (New International Version). If you don’t listen, you won’t get the message. Be quick to listen, slow to speak (James 1:19a). Proverbs 21:23 says, “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles” (New King James Version). Listen; don’t jump to conclusions. Listen. “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3 New International Version). Listen before you say anything.
2. Don’t be so angry with your critic’s style or method that you react negatively. Most critics don’t look at issues from your point of view but theirs. Their style or method could be provoking. If you’re angry, you’ll miss the point and react negatively. “Foolish people lose their tempers, but wise people control theirs” (Proverbs 29:11 New Century Version). Don’t be a fool. “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9 New King James Version). Don’t get angry and refuse to listen to criticisms. “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly” (Proverbs 14:29 New International Version).
3. Consider the criticism. Differentiate between the message and the messenger. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. The critic’s style may not be right and you may not be comfortable with the message, but think about it.
Ask yourself sincere questions – Is it true? Am I wrong? etc. “Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray” (Proverbs 10:17 New International Version). Your attitude to correction shows whether you’re foolish or wise. “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent” (Proverbs 15:5 New King James Version). In other words, a wise person receives correction. Mockers hate rebuke; the wise love it (Proverbs 9:8).
4. Admit your fault and change if the criticism is true. Nobody is perfect. We are all work-in-progress. Be humble to receive criticism and make the necessary corrections. It shows you have character, not that you are weak. Proverbs 25:12 says, “To one who listens, valid criticism is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry” (New Living Translation). Criticisms, if well received, will make you better. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 New Living Translation). Let criticism make you better, not bitter.
5. If criticism is unfair, ignore or disregard it, and don’t take it to heart. Not all criticisms are valid. Don’t allow unfair criticism to disturb you or make you bitter. Don’t let it affect you deeply or hurt you. Therefore, guard your heart. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 New Living Translation). The New King James Version says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Protect your heart. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 New International Version). Protect your heart against unfair and destructive criticisms.
6. If the criticism is untrue, you may, sometimes, need to calmly set the record straight. Don’t attack the person of the critic – address the issue. Don’t insult the critic. Sometimes it is wise to ignore totally some criticisms, though they’re untrue. Know when it is wise to ignore or to reply.
7. Love the person criticizing you. Love is the greatest commandment – loving God and fellow human beings (Matthew 22:35-40; Mark 12:28-31). Love is the fulfilment of the law (Romans 13:10b). Jesus said, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28 New International Version). Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Don’t repay evil with evil (Romans 12:17; 1 Peter 3:9).
Conclusion: Don’t hate honest feedback. People who hate criticism often fall into the error of surrounding themselves with flatterers. “In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery” (Proverbs 28:23 New Living Translation). Flatterers are liars! They don’t truly love you. If they do, they will not lie to you; they will give honest feedback even if it makes you uncomfortable. “A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin” (Proverbs 26:28 New Living Translation).
Be careful. Some critics are critical friends. A critical friend is defined as someone encouraging and supportive, but who also provides honest and often candid feedback that may be uncomfortable or difficult to hear. He is not an enemy. He is not destructive but constructive as he speaks truthfully about problems, weaknesses, etc.
Be blessed by those who commend you (not flatter you) but don’t be discouraged by those who criticize you constructively or destructively. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:5-6 New King James Version). Don’t hate criticism. Prefer the rebuke of a friend to the praise of an enemy.
For over 900 in-depth and powerful messages by T. O. Banso, visit www.cedarministry.org).
T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
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