JANUARY 27, 2023



“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith” (Romans 12:3 New King James Version).

The word “ego” is Latin, which means “I”. In modern usage, ego means “Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem” (American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language). But according to this dictionary, it also means “An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.”

In a way, everybody has an ego. In other words, everybody has an appropriate pride in himself – self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with ego if it is about our self-esteem. But the problem is when this becomes exaggerated. The ego becomes a problem when it is uncontrolled. It becomes an enemy. An uncontrolled ego turns into egotism, which is an exaggerated opinion of one’s importance.

There is an innate desire in everybody to be respected. God doesn’t demand that you get rid of your ego. But people with an ego problem have an exaggerated opinion of their importance. They are self-absorbed and self-conceited. They feel they are better than others. They believe they cannot be wrong and are sensitive to criticism. They believe that they know everything and that things must always be done their way. They always want to dominate discussions and find it difficult to listen to others. They are not humble enough to concede to better ideas. Such people are incapable of appreciating others’ better ideas, suggestions, or performances. They are jealous.

Having a big ego hinders people from having good interpersonal relationships. It prevents them from getting along with people. They only enjoy relationships where they are given recognition and attention. Everything must be about them. They are controlling and if they can’t control you, they withdraw from you or break the relationship. They feel that they are the centre of the universe and the world revolves around them. This is not the Spirit of Christ.

While we all must have healthy self-esteem or self-respect, we must not allow our egos to control us. We must not live a self-centred life. We must avoid believing that the world exists for us alone. Have a positive opinion of yourself but not an exaggerated opinion. Romans 12:3 says, “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith” (New King James Version).

This scripture does not say you shouldn’t think highly of yourself. It doesn’t say you should put yourself down. But it says you should not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. In other words, don’t think you are better than you really are. Those with an ego problem often think of themselves more highly than they ought to; they overrate themselves. Therefore, they cannot relate well with others. They feel superior and look down on others. This is not the Spirit of Christ.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (New International Version).

Inflated egos manifest in different places, even in the church. An inflated ego is one reason some people feel that they should be the persons to preach at some programmes and not others. They believe they are the best preachers! Some people will not attend some programmes because they have not been given particular roles to play or they will attend but not cooperate with those given roles to play.  This is an ego problem. Sometimes because we don’t want to bruise the inflated ego of some people in the church, we give them roles during the service. We want to make everybody happy. Instead of being controlled by the Holy Spirit, some Christians are controlled by their ego. They seek undue recognition, attention, and credit.

Whereas what is important is for God to use the people He wants to use in a service, we feel everybody must be given a role because of their ego! We sometimes interrupt the move of the Holy Spirit because someone must come up to do one thing or the other as already scheduled. We don’t want to bruise anyone’s ego. What is important to us is not what God wants to do but to ensure everybody is pleased. Someone said ego means “edging God out.” How many times have we edged God out or shut Him out because of our ego? This ought not to be so.

John the Baptist, whom all people from Jerusalem, Judea, and the region around the Jordan had gone to listen to, told the people, “I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire” (Matthew 3:11-12 New King James Version).

John’s words amounted to de-marketing himself, as we will say today. John said similar words about Jesus in John 1:26-36. To someone not controlled by the Spirit of God, what John said was not a plus to his ministry. But John was not out to stroke his own ego but to do the will of God.

When Jesus came to him for baptism, John didn’t grab the opportunity to add to his C.V.! He initially didn’t want to baptize Jesus because He was greater than him, as he had already told the people. John was not on an ego trip. He, however, baptized Jesus after He insisted it must be done for them to fulfil all righteousness (Matthew 3:13-15).

When John was later told that Jesus was baptizing and all the people were going to Him, John didn’t speak as someone whose ego had been bruised. He said, among other things, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent before Him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:27-30 New King James Version).

Control your ego. Paul said concerning himself in Galatians 2:20, “When the Messiah was executed on the stake as a criminal, I was too; so that my proud ego no longer lives. But the Messiah lives in me, and the life I now live in my body I live by the same trusting faithfulness that the Son of God had, who loved me and gave himself up for me” (Complete Jewish Bible). Take note of the phrase “my proud ego no longer lives.” This is what the New King James Version renders as “it is no longer I who live.” Remember the Latin word ego means “I”. Proud ego is your enemy. It must not live!

Don’t let your ego stand in the way of your destiny fulfilment. Don’t let it destroy your relationships with those you are supposed to work and walk with in life. You need others and they need you, too. You are not more important than they are. Don’t be self-centred; be others-centred. “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well–being” (1 Corinthians 10:24 New King James Version).

Don’t be self-seeking. Love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:5). Philippians 2:4 says each person should not look out only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. People who have ego problems don’t do this. It’s all about their interest.

Control your ego. Humble yourself. Listen to others. Don’t seek to dominate discussions or impose your opinions. Concede to superior ideas and suggestions. Speak words of appreciation to others. Don’t be jealous of anyone. Celebrate others. Support others and don’t think everyone should worship you. Be teachable. Acknowledge that you don’t know it all and accept criticisms. Admit your errors; don’t be defensive. Learn to say sorry. Nobody is perfect. Don’t be driven by ego. Control your ego by yielding to the Holy Spirit.


If you are not born again, you need to give your life to Jesus now. I urge you to take the following steps: *Admit that you are a sinner and you cannot save yourself and repent of your sins. *Confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. *Renounce your past way of life – your relationship with the devil and his works. *Invite Jesus into your life. *As a mark of seriousness to mature in the faith, start attending a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. There they will teach you how to grow in the Kingdom of God.

Kindly say this prayer now: O Lord God, I come unto You today. I know I am a sinner and I cannot save myself. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save me and God raised Him on the third day. I repent of my sins and confess Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I surrender my life to Jesus now and invite Him into my heart. By this prayer, I know I am saved. Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God.

I believe you have said this prayer from your heart. Congratulations! You will need to join a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church in your area where they will teach you how to live your new life in Christ Jesus. I pray that you flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar of Lebanon. May you grow into Christ in all things and become all God wants you to be. I will be glad to hear from you. The Lord be with you.

PRAYER POINTS: Father, forgive me for having an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Holy Spirit, help me to control my ego; let not my ego control me. My ego will not become my enemy in Jesus’ name. I shall not think of myself more highly than I ought to think but think soberly. My ego shall not stand in the way of my destiny fulfilment or destroy my relationships with others in Jesus’ name.

(For over 900 in-depth and powerful messages by T. O. Banso, visit

T. O. Banso is the President of Cedar Ministry International, Abuja, Nigeria.
Phone No: +2348155744752, +2348033113523
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